The “girl boss” phenomenon is one that has grown gradually over the past few decades. The term itself was propelled into mainstream media with the release of Sophia Amoruso’s autobiography, titled #GIRLBOSS. In it, a girl boss is described as a woman “whose success is defined in opposition to the masculine business in which she swims upstream.” 

Yet, is that really what it means to most women now?

What is the “Girl Boss” Mindset? 

A “girl boss,” by most accounts, is working towards the top of her field. You do this through extreme hard work. You don’t quit. Failure isn’t in your vocabulary. Each loss is a lesson. Use every opportunity you can to network and grow. Most importantly, remain positive and sure of yourself. 

To truly understand the “girl boss” mindset, you must first understand the American Dream culture it lives within. The American culture emphasizes that we all can achieve similar success if we work hard, by working long hours and sacrificing personal time. We’re often told that we have the same 24 hours in a day as billionaires and that we can earn their status if we just try hard enough.

So what exactly makes a “girl boss” different from a regular American Dreamer? The most obvious reason is gender.

When you look more into the American Dream, you’ll soon see that success has always been differentiated by gender. It is the men who are thought capable of earning extreme career success, and it is women who are thought to be experts at taking care of the home—which has not traditionally been thought of as a “real” career.

It’s no secret why women feel the need to differentiate themselves from their male colleagues, given the countless workplace gender disparities. Women in leadership roles are greatly limited, as promotions are harder for women to earn than men. It seems as though women must work three times as hard to get the same recognition as their male counterparts, and women of color have to work that much harder. Even every dollar a woman earns is shorter than a man’s dollar, making financial success a never ending battle for many women. 

In short, many career women have been forced into this so-called “girl boss” mindset, whether they wanted to or not. It feels as if a woman needs this mindset to be successful in corporate America.

Is the “Girl Boss” Mindset Actually Empowering?

For many women, to be a “girl boss” is to be empowered—that could be why young women and girls alike aspire to be one. They buy the #girlboss mugs and t-shirts and planners in excess to remind them who they are.

It’s understandable why young women would want to fulfill that role. Earning your own money, living life by your own standards, and being a female entrepreneur are all associated with being a “girl boss.” When you do any one of these things, you have reached a certain level of freedom most women around the world may never know. That, in itself, is a liberating feeling. 

This mindset has almost become synonymous with confidence, because a strong “girl boss” has to be a confident decision maker. Watching your dreams manifest right before your eyes can boost your confidence to unimaginable heights, self-encouraging you to work towards more goals that you’ve ever even dreamt of. Being a “girl boss” can open your mind and give you the ability to achieve your deepest fantasies. For many women, the “I can do anything!” mindset that is built into this lifestyle is the biggest motivating factor to getting things done.

Being a “girl boss” allows you to be you, unapologetically. 

When Does the “Girl Boss” Mindset Become More Hurtful Than Helpful?

“Girl boss” used to be a phenomenon, appearing as though all girls aimed to be one. However, this phenomenon has died down for a few major reasons.

Based on its definition, not every woman gets to be a “girl boss” 

For example, women homemakers are too often excluded from the term. Although expanding, this mindset still has a close association with needing to have a career. A negative result of this is that some may feel that homemakers, stay-at-home wives, or even stay-at-home mothers are not “girl boss” worthy. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If the definition of a “girl boss” is a hard worker, homemakers deserve to be in the conversation, as that’s a true, 24/7, no days off gig.

Of those who are, many don’t want the label

If you’re an avid fan of social media, you’ve probably seen a few derogatory posts towards “girl bosses.” A growing number of people view them negatively, saying those who identify as such can be annoying, inconsiderate, self-centered, and rude, to name just a few. It’s hard to pinpoint when and where this poor perception originated.

It could be that our increasingly liberal society has grown weary of the American Dream at large and the idea of a “girl boss” as a result. This perception may be a consequence from the number of self-identified “girl bosses,” who gatekeep career and financial advice or have poor customer service.

Many women have spoken out about the burnout that comes with the title 

Too many “girl bosses” believe that success comes only if you—literally—take no days off. However, we all need a break (or three) sometimes. In fact, it’s encouraged that hard workers take regular breaks. These breaks will allow you to rejuvenate and then re-approach your tasks with a clearer mind and more energy. Skipping breaks may cause fogginess in your thinking and loss of energy, neither of which are beneficial to achieving goals.

There are some women who feel as if the term is simply unneeded

Why should hard working women have to be labeled with a phrase, instead of others assuming they work just as hard as they assume men do? They see this quieting phenomenon as simply another restriction women have been made to work within. 

Regardless of the exact reason, it’s hard to deny that many feel the “girl boss” term is actually quite harmful.

Women are varied. There are equally strong arguments for why the “girl boss” culture is helpful and why it is hurtful. It may be best for each woman to decide how she personally feels. Some are motivated by being a “girl boss” and grinding towards their definition of success in the face of gender disparities. In these cases, there’s little reason why they shouldn’t be proud to be a “girl boss,” as long as self-care is kept in mind. Other women, for countless reasons, want to run far away from the phrase. In these cases, let them.

When deciding to be a “girl boss” or not, remember there’s no wrong decision, except for the one that makes you unhappy.