After all, if you don’t care for your physical and mental health, no one else will, either.

Self-Care is Different for Everyone

Self-care is the ultimate buzz word. Generally, it’s used as an expression to treat yourself, but it’s actually much more than that. We view self-care as a necessity, rather than a luxury. Yes, it can feel like gifting a treat to yourself in the form of quality time, but it’s also akin to feeding your soul—it’s necessary for survival.

Self-care is different for everyone. This is why you should try multiple forms to see what works for you. For some, self-care is reading a book in the bath, for others it is taking their dog on a walk. The variations of self-care are endless, but they all come back to the common core of being used to help you feel better, both physically and mentally.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with different forms of self-care, either. Make sure that whatever act that you choose is serving you well and it isn’t damaging a part of your life. For example, while shopping may make you feel great, it doesn’t come without its share of negative repercussions. You may overspend and have a drop in your bank account. This could lead to feelings of sadness due to lack of money or disposable income, resulting in even more spending to make yourself feel better again. Unfortunately, this becomes an unsustainable cycle, which negatively impacts you in the end. This doesn’t feed your soul. In fact, it might take more from you than it gives. Self-care should only help you.

Why is Self-Care Important?

By taking part in self-care, you’re actually helping yourself and everyone around you. When you feel your best, you’ll be more readily available to help the world as well. Self-care can help lower stress, leaving you feeling more calm and energized. It can give you more focus and clarity, allowing you to have a more productive day.

In turn, self-care works to help others because it makes you more able to give your time and attention. When we deny ourselves self-care, we are denying ourselves positivity and good health, which in turn makes us unable to support others. After all, you can’t care for anyone else if you don’t care for yourself first. 

How to Focus on Yourself More Without Feeling Selfish

Here are some tips on how to make self-care an act you’re willing and able to do without the pressures of guilt:

Learn to Say No

Often, we’re told to say yes more. However, when it comes to your mental health, setting boundaries is paramount. Learn to prioritize caring for yourself before you take on others’ duties and requests. It doesn’t make you a bad friend, partner, coworker, or otherwise to say no. By saying no, you’re setting a boundary that the other person will respect. Plus, if you say yes and then back out later, the outcome is never as good (for either party!) as if you had simply said no from the beginning.

Set aside ‘Me time’ each day

Develop self-care as an act in your daily routine. This can be as simple as adding facial massages into your skin care routine in the morning or night. You can also replace television with reading to stimulate and expand your mind without electronics. Find what works for you and make time for it every day. By incorporating this time into your daily routine, it doesn’t take up any additional space in your day. There is nothing selfish about carving out time for you in the middle of your daily routine, whether it be one minute or one hour.

Incorporate it into the small moments

Going along with the last idea, you can incorporate self-care throughout your day. It doesn’t have to be just when you’ve designated time. You can have small moments of concentrated breathing or walk your dog during a break. These small actions will only help improve your day thereby also improving the people you interact with as well.

Self-care with friends

If you feel guilty about doing self-care by yourself, make it a group activity. Invite your friends over or do a virtual hang out where you do classic, fun self-care activities, such as face masks, yoga, and even just watching a movie and laughing together. Especially for extroverts, being with friends is self-care in itself.

Have a designated self-care day

Pick a day out of the week to do a bigger act of self-care. It doesn’t have to be the same day each week and can change with your schedule. However, try to have at least one day a month that you dedicate to yourself. Give yourself permission to indulge in the things you want to do and, for one day, let go of the things that you do not want to do. Planning it in your schedule not only gives you something to look forward to, but is a reminder of the commitment that you have made to yourself.

“Self-care isn’t selfish” is a phrase you may have heard many times over, but just looked past. However, the sentiment is entirely true. Self-care isn’t simply a glossy term from magazines. It’s a crucial part of who we are and what we need to not just function, but truly live. You work hard, you deserve to recover just as much.