How To Make New Friends As An Adult
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Making friends can be difficult at any age, but it becomes even more of a challenge when you are an adult. A common feeling is “Where do I even start?” Making new friends as an adult is difficult because adults have very different priorities than children and teenagers, who rely on their social circles for support and entertainment. Not only that, but adults are likely to be much busier than in their teens or early twenties. Making friends at this age requires more effort than before, but it is very much worth it in the end. However, there are several steps you can take towards making new friends as an adult. While some steps are more simple than others, read more and decide which is the best option for you!
8 Ways to Make New Friends As An Adult
Make Friends Through Common Interests
One step to making new friends is to think of your hobbies and interests, starting with what you like to do for fun, whether it be sports, cooking, learning a new language, yoga, or maybe even Crossfit. The list goes on and on, but signing up for a regular, group activity is a way to have fun and create an opportunity to meet more people. Psychologists recommend choosing a class or activity that is lasts over several weeks or a few months. This allows connections to build naturally and also creates less pressure to make a new friend right away. At the end of it, you’re just doing something you enjoy and hopefully, this leads to starting new friendships! Who knows, down the road, you could be meeting your next best workout buddy.
Being An Active Listener
Being an active listener is an overlooked way of making new friends. Engaging in a conversation where each person feels heard and understood…aren’t those simply wonderful? Being an active listener creates a large door for deeper connections. It encourages you to ask questions and offer full answers, since actively listening creates a conversation that flows more smoothly and makes more room for understanding—even if you’re not always in agreement with the other person. Actively listening with eye contact is one way of communicating intentionality and that you are present with that person. And sometimes, that’s all someone wants in a friend! A person that they can be present with and enjoy the current space and moment. Being an active listener for someone new or an existing casual connection can be a helpful way to make a new friend as an adult.
Be Open
Being open to putting yourself out there is one big step in making new friends at any age. Being open can mean many things since we all have our definitions of our comfort zones. This may include being ready to be the first person to initiate the conversation, being the first person to raise your hand and participate, or maybe being ready to feel vulnerable. Depending on how you feel, allowing yourself to be uncomfortable and seen, can lead to healthy friendships. If someone wants to support you while you’re showing vulnerability, it is a good sign and could lead to building trust. Authenticity is contagious and when you’re able to connect with people for simply being you is a win-win for everyone involved.
Community Events
Attending a community event that aligns with your values could be a great opportunity to meet people in your area. Whether it be a poetry reading, a fundraiser for a local school, or a beach clean-up, there’s a chance to start a conversation with different people. However, going to an event that excites you and has a genuine interest can speak volumes. Maybe you’ll meet someone as passionate as you or simply have an engaging conversation about the event and its values. On the flip side, you could also be going to learn something new and who knows who you’ll meet! Either way, you’re putting yourself out there and that’s one of the most important steps to making friends as an adult. Participating in a local event helps you change up your routine, expand your social circle, and give you a chance to be a part of a bigger community.
Download An App
In a way, making new friends as an adult can be very similar to dating, right? Which is one reason why it can be so daunting. However, if you have experience with dating apps and are comfortable with meeting people through apps, consider downloading others meant for making friends! Although Bumble is famous for being a dating app, there is the "BFF" option that can easily be switched with just one click. This allows you to meet people just like you who are looking for friendships! Bumble BFF has helped men and women meet new people to work on creative projects together or a simple, casual coffee outing. There are other phone apps, such as HeyVina!, which focuses on connecting women to women to make new friends. There is also the popular website, MeetUp, which lists various group events and outings to pass time.
Try Something New
Trying something new can range from a surf retreat, a ceramics course, or even a salsa class. Or, maybe something you were scared to do since you were a kid! Pick an activity that you’ve been itching to try or simply something you’ve always wanted to do. However, trying something new and attempting to make new friends at the same time might feel overwhelming. Keep in mind, putting yourself out there and being vulnerable will be a part of making friends at any age. However, while taking on something completely new to you, there is the chance to meet someone who can help you feel less uncomfortable, or secondly, you both could be uncomfortable together. Opening yourself up to new experiences could also open you up to new friendships.
Tell Your Friends
Chat with your current circle of friends (near and far) that you’re looking to make new friends. They could offer some suggestions on activities and maybe you can meet some of their friends from their other social circles. Maybe you’ve just moved to a new city? Your existing group of friends from home could know someone in your new area and could offer a way to connect. Confiding in people who you trust and already know you well could be helpful when making new friends as an adult. This could also help nurture this existing friendship with this person, too.
Follow What Feels Good
The best connections are the ones that click, blossom organically, and occur when you least expect it. So, follow what feels good! After meeting someone, are you noticing that you’re enjoying the conversation? Does your whole self feel good? Do you want to spend more time with this person? Reach out to them and don’t be too hard on yourself. When making new friends, it is also helpful to remember quality over quantity, too! It could feel exhausting to hang out with so many different people, so foster connections that bring value to your life, since only you know what that feels like! So, while attempting to make new friends, listen and trust yourself. If the process feels daunting, then give yourself that break and release any pressure.
Again, putting yourself out there isn’t easy, so pat yourself on the back for taking that step! Whether you choose to join a local, adult league to play your favorite sport or start a conversation with a stranger, you know what kind of friend you’re looking for. Along the way, have fun and remember that it’s a process. Overall, you’re your very own best friend, so enjoy your company and choose what works best for you when making new friends, especially as an adult.