Normalize Asking For Pronouns (if it is safe to do so)

The holidays may be the only time a year that your entire family or friend group gathers and a lot can change in a year. People may have changed what pronouns they use, and it’s important that we respect those. Double check people’s pronouns, even if you think you know what someone uses. When we practice not assuming people’s pronouns, we promote a safe environment that shows everyone that all gender identities and experiences are valid. Remember, it is not required for people to share pronouns for a variety of reasons, so just be mindful, compassionate, and understanding.

Remove Gendered Language 

It’s common for people to refer to groups of people as “boys and girls” or “ladies and gentlemen.” Practice unlearning that gendered language this season by replacing them with “friends and family,” “y’all,” “folks,” “theydies and gentlethems” (if you want to get a little silly with it), or “honored guests” (if it’s a more formal event). By shifting this language, we are making a more inclusive room by not assuming anyone’s identity and making everyone feel acknowledged and welcomed.

Have Accessibility Information Available

When inviting people to your space, make sure you have accessibility information available. Does your house have a staircase? Are there steps to get to your front door? If there is a performance of any kind, will there be interpreters? If you are watching a show or a movie, will you have subtitles on? These are all things to consider to make sure that everyone can participate.

Consider Diverse Traditions

One part of the holidays that is important to consider is that not everyone may celebrate in the same way. Moving through the holidays with inclusivity in mind means recognizing that not everyone has the same viewpoints, backgrounds, or ways to celebrate the holiday season. It may be worthwhile to look into other holidays that happen in the winter and throughout the rest of the year if you want to learn more! It’s important we honor all of the different experiences in a non-judgmental way.

Consider Intersectionality

In the same way that not everyone celebrates in the same way, your guests will likely come with their own sets of identities, understandings, and experiences. Having an understanding of the intersectionality of race, gender, physical ability, class, etc., can help you create a safer space for everyone of any identity. This means understanding the interconnected nature of these different identities and how they may inform how someone moves through the world. Considering this when creating an environment rooted in inclusive values can help everyone feel like they are respected and have a space to be understood.

Consider Food Allergies and Preferences

Gathering over food is hands down one of the best parts of the holidays, so we want to make sure that everyone has an opportunity to eat and feel nourished. Check in with your guests, family members, and friends if they have any food allergies or if someone is vegan or vegetarian. Consider having options for every diet so that no one feels left out or leaves the gathering hungry.

Have Sober Options

There are many people who love having a holiday libation, but creating an inclusive space also means having drinks and refreshments that cater to our sober friends as well. Consider making a mocktail for the evening that is just as delicious and fancy as any cocktail. That way, your sober friends or family members can feel included and can enjoy the amazing flavors that come with the holidays.

Respect COVID and Other Health Boundaries

Navigating the colder months also means navigating the fact that some people may have different health boundaries, expectations, and limitations. Creating an inclusive environment might mean making vaccination status known so that everyone—including at-risk people—can make informed decisions. It may mean wearing masks inside or having virtual options so people who cannot be physically present feel included as well. Creating as many options as possible with increased communication is the best way to go.

Have a Gift Spending Limit or an Agreement to Hand-make Gifts

This past year has hit so many people hard financially and not everyone may be able to contribute to the gift-giving festivities in the same way. To make a more equitable shopping and giving season, consider putting a spending limit depending on your group’s preference. This way, no one feels the pressure to spend an extravagant amount of money and everyone can access a gift. Hand-making gifts can also be a fun option, but make sure it’s agreed upon by the whole group, if possible. This will make for a super creative, special, and unique holiday season where everyone can give and receive. 

Have a Designated Quiet Space

Have a room or space that people can step away to if they need a moment to themselves or if they are overstimulated. The holidays can come with a lot of pressure to be “on” all the time or be super interactive, but having a place where people can take a moment to decompress if they need to creates a safer and more enjoyable environment for everyone involved at their own time and pace.

Be Open To Having Plus-Ones

Allowing your guests to have plus-ones is a great way to make sure all of your guests feel supported. Support systems of all kinds are really great for the holidays, and you know what they say – the more the merrier. Having an option to allow your guests to bring someone with them may help them feel more at ease and comfortable in a season that can bring high-stress.

While not all of these options may be available to everyone in the same way, they are all great things to consider for creating a more inclusive environment. While we cannot determine if a space is safe for someone, we can lead with empathy and take all the steps that are possible with the hope that we create a holiday season that feels open and welcoming for everyone during this joyous time of year.