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In some cases, spending too much time with other people can lead to fatigue, overload, and stress. These are only a few reasons why people might prefer being alone. However, there are certain situations where some people do not have a choice and have to spend hours alone, leading to feelings of isolation, sadness, and disconnection. So, where do we draw that line? As humans, we excel with connection, so we need both to thrive. Therefore, achieving the balance of being alone could be the difficult part. Yes, it could be tricky, but absolutely doable.

What is “Too Much” Alone Time?

The simple answer is that it depends on the person. There is no standard given for what consists of "too much" alone time; it is more about personal preference. Although spending time alone is necessary, there should still be a balance. Licensed therapist, Shawnessa Devonish says, “This occurs when this time triggers intense psychological and emotional conditions, such as increased depression or anxiety… People’s brains will naturally alert them when it is time to socialize because they will begin to experience feelings of loneliness.” If you recently have been spending time alone and beginning to feel lonely (or perhaps some sadness), it is an indicator that your well-being is looking for some human interaction. All in all, too much of anything isn’t healthy! So, listening to yourself and what your body communicates to you is important, especially when creating your own personal alone time balance.

The Benefits of Spending Time Alone

You Get to Recharge

Spending time alone regularly allows a person to relax and rejuvenate their mind and body; this can be done without any distractions or interruptions. This time is beneficial because it restores the individual's energy so that they can be focused on all other aspects of life. Having that time to let yourself rest on your own allows you to reset your well-being and take care of yourself. You can clear your head, let your body rest, and recharge your mental and physical batteries. Making sure to schedule alone time is yet another important activity you can include in your existing list of self-care practices. 

Create Time For Self-Reflection

When we spend time alone, it means that we have the opportunity to really get to know ourselves and process our thoughts. By taking time to reflect on our wants and needs, it can help us feel better, both mentally and physically. This includes thinking about what we like, don’t like, and understanding how our body communicates to us. In turn, we can show up to our relationships more emotionally available, confident in who we are, and more self-aware. Overall, alone time allows you to reconnect with yourself without the disruption of others. 

Become More Comfortable with Yourself 

Creating a balanced amount of alone time helps you to be more comfortable with yourself. You’re your own best friend; treating yourself how you would a friend is a healthy way to learn more about yourself. Just as you’d like to spend some one-on-one time with your best friend to catch up, it’s important to do that with yourself, too. Spending time alone creates room for self-development and embracing the joy of your own company. In addition, you’ll discover what makes you great and also helps you to love all parts of yourself.

The Benefits of Social Time

Improved Communication 

When spending time alone, you are learning how to communicate with yourself and with others. Wellness experts share, “You would still need social interactions, because otherwise, how would you know how much you've improved? Regularly interacting with other people gives you ideas and fresh perspectives on things you might miss if you're alone all the time.” Having social interactions—for work, spending time with friends, your family or your partner—can help balance out spending time alone. As a result, you can practice your new or improved ways of communication, whether it be by being a better listener, changing your tone, or being more careful with your words. In addition to this, being social can help you express your opinions and feelings in ways you didn't know before. 

Positive Engagement

Sometimes when you are often by yourself, you might notice that you’re looking to go out and be social. Making time to be out of your home and interacting with others creates space in your life for positive engagement. This could include unexpected (yet pleasurable) chats with strangers, building rapport with your colleagues, and having engaging conversations that deepen your relationships with the people you care about. Also, when being more social, you’re able to create friendships and build new connections, perhaps just by chance or if you’re aiming to make new friends and expand your social circle!

Finding Human Connection 

Living through a pandemic showed us how important it is to have human connection—socially, mentally, and physically. Along with simply being human, having some sense of love and belonging is essential to have a full life; this can be achieved through social interactions. No matter how large or small your circle may be, being social helps build a sense of belonging that can make your whole self feel good. So, when your body is looking for some human connection, listen to it! 

Achieving That Balance

It is certainly doable. One might say that achieving the balance of being alone is like walking on a tightrope or can feel like a little dance with yourself. That’s okay! Taking time for yourself and also fulfilling your personal need for social interactions are both important ways of mental self-care. The irony is that you probably will not know your gauge of how much alone time you need until you finally give yourself that time. Yes, the amount could change over time and, in some cases, it could be hours to even days. However, that’s why it is important to know what your body is saying to you—something you can understand even better while being alone.   

Wherever you’re at in your life, whatever age you may be, the relationship you have with yourself needs to be nurtured. So, give yourself that alone time and listen to your whole self when creating your balance of being alone.