Introvert Trying To Navigate The Holidays? 8 Ways To Protect Your Quiet Time
Events are the dominating theme of holiday time. Christmas parties and dinner gatherings often fill our schedules. If you are an introvert, all of these events can be exhausting for reasons you may or may not know.
While extroversion often manifests as the ability to feel energized in social interactions, introversion often includes energy loss in social interactions. Because of this, introverts may find themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally drained as a result of the nonstop events during this time of year. This drained feeling often happens without recognizing the signs before it's too late.
““R&R typically stands for rest and recreation. Here, it means recognition and respect of your own introversion.””
There are multiple ways to help prevent feeling like the life has been sucked out of you by the end of the holiday season.
Recognition & Respect (aka R&R)
R&R typically stands for rest and recreation. Here, it means recognition and respect of your own introversion. Sociability exists on a spectrum, meaning introversion itself is very fluid. Your needed level of time alone may vary drastically from another introvert—or extrovert—that you know. It’s imperative that you begin to understand and accept yourself as the holidays approach. You are the expert of your own needs.
““It’s imperative that you begin to understand and accept yourself as the holidays approach. You are the expert of your own needs. ””
Seek Support
Find a friend and/or support system in advance that respects your introversion. The holiday season can be simply overwhelming for the majority of introverts. Not only that, but most people know or have seen friends and family members who try to force the more reserved personalities out of their shells. While they may mean well, it’s likely that the reserved person feels attacked or just uncomfortable. Introverts may find it extremely beneficial to establish a support person(s) in case this happens to them.
This can be done by asking your favorite cousin to shield you from your nosey aunt during the Thanksgiving festivities. You may also give a friend a heads up that you may need to call or text them if you begin to feel overwhelmed. Leaning on a close friend during this time of year is what many of us need.
Set Boundaries
The importance of boundaries skyrocket during the festive season for everyone and especially for introverts. Most holiday season events are family gatherings with a large group of family members you may love and family members you may prefer not to see. One of the best ways to set boundaries is deciding in advance who you choose to interact with to the best of your ability. For some introverts, you may feel forced by parents and others to interact with those who you wish you didn't have to interact with. Try to explain to your parents and others why you feel this way.
If they do not understand or respect your feelings, distance yourself from that function and those people as best as you can. This may mean that you choose to read a book while everyone has a conversation. Whatever it looks like for you, remember that setting boundaries is not selfish. Setting boundaries is an essential way to harness control over your own well-being.
““Setting boundaries is an essential way to harness control over your own well-being.””
Create an Exit Plan
Sometimes situations are out of our control. Sometimes we are subjected to situations we never asked for in the first place. If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, such as a rowdy holiday party that way exceeds your sociability, run away. Pre-establish an escape plan for each event you plan to attend this festive and holiday season. You can stand near doors for a quick escape. You can think of moments in conversations that typically indicate this conversation is ending. Once you hear such a moment, you can begin saying your goodbyes and ending the night early if you are comfortable with announcing you are leaving.
Exit plans should also be created for events you will probably enjoy. It’s better to be safe than sorry if for whatever reason you begin to feel anxious or just find yourself not enjoying the event as much as you thought you would.
Breathe
Let’s say you’ve got a wonderful support system, you’ve set boundaries, and you’ve created the most detailed escape plan. You feel confident going into the large group family gathering prepared to elude or engage in whatever comes your way. Yet, once you get there and everything starts happening, you freeze. You cannot find your favorite cousin that was going to save you and your best friend is neither texting you back nor answering your calls. To make it worse, your nosey aunt is asking you why you failed calculus, even though you’ve given everyone a heads up not to discuss your studies.
You have also just forgotten your escape plan so you feel stuck. This happens. Freezing is a common outcome of fear and anxiety. In this scary moment, try your best to breathe. Take ten deep breaths or more to ground yourself. After breathing for clarity, try to find your support person or a room alone, like the bathroom, to further root yourself in peace.
Prioritize Fun
For some, prioritizing fun sounds simple. For others, this sounds like an impossibility. Just as with recognizing and accepting your own introversion, it’s important for you to recognize and accept what you consider fun. Your fun as an introvert may include a small gathering of close friends for a Halloween-themed game night. Your fun could be time alone in Sephora, taking advantage of all of the major sales during the shopping season. Whatever you consider fun, make sure you put those activities at the top of your holiday season to-do list. Enjoying fun will likely make the less desirable—and possibly forced—social interactions feel more bearable.
Advocate for Activities
Take control of the season to the best of your ability by recommending activities to participate in. If you love corn mazes, advocate for the family to take a trip to the best maze around. If you are terrified of haunted houses, but your sibling loves them, urge your family to allow you to skip out on the haunted house and, instead, join them in something you enjoy, like trick or treating. Advocating for your preferred activities is another way to prioritize fun and truly enjoy what this time of year has to offer.
Rest
Arguably, the most vital component of navigating the holiday season as an introvert is to rest. Remember, most introverts feel a varying degree of literal energy draining in social interactions. Therefore, you must take time whenever, wherever, and as often as you can to rest. Frequent rest will help you to feel rejuvenated and more likely to navigate the remainder of the season with clarity.