Friend Check: Here’s How To Support Them During The Most Difficult Time Of Year
The holidays can be a lonely and stressful time for a lot of people. This applies especially to people that live far away from family or have recently experienced a personal loss. The holidays can also be a time of reflection. As everyone is approaching the end of the year, it can bring up some sad--but very realistic and life-changing--moments.
However, the holidays can also be an ideal time to support or connect with the people we care about. So, if you’ve ever spent a holiday without your family or loved ones, or have ever felt lonely during the “happiest time of the year," you can understand where your friends may be coming from. If not, maybe you can already think of someone who may need your support during this time of the year. Here are eight ways to support your friends that are spending the holidays alone this year.
Host a “Friendsgiving” or “Friends-Mas”
Are you a friend that enjoys being a host? Well, even if you are not, this could be the holiday season to try something new by hosting a Friends-giving or a Friends-mas for the first time. Hosting one of these events is an opportunity to invite your friends who are alone this year and provide a little festive company.
This can be as simple or as extravagant as you like, however, the important part is bringing people together, especially for anyone that cannot be around their loved ones. Being supportive and hosting a holiday gathering can be a memorable way to celebrate the holidays for you and your friends.
Invite a Friend to Your Family Gathering
If they aren’t already, why not have your friend be a part of your family for the holidays? If your family is open to having other guests, invite them to your next holiday gathering. This may include a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas lunch, or any other unique holiday celebration that is special to your family. Not only is inviting your friend to a celebration a kind gesture, it is also a way to make them feel included and less alone during this time. Sharing your holiday experience and introducing them to your family may be just what they want (or need) to do for the holidays.
Write and Mail Them A Letter
Handwritten letters never go out of style. Think about it, when was the last time that you sent a handwritten letter? How did it make you feel? The time, thought, and authenticity of a handwritten letter can have a positive emotional effect on anyone ay any time of the year.
If you know more than one person who will be alone during the holidays, write a card or letter for each of them. (Be sure to send it early enough, though so that it arrives before the actual holiday!) You could even consider giving them a heads up on its arrival so that they know a small gift is coming for them. But, if not, a thoughtful letter in their mailbox will be a pleasant holiday surprise!
Plan a “Holidate”
A holidate does not always have to be romantic, so why not take your friend out on a festive outing this holiday season? Typically, the streets are decorated with lights and filled with jolly holiday characters. You might even smell the extra pumpkin spice in the air! It’s highly likely you already know their favorite things to do, so you can plan the holidate accordingly.
Some ideas could be: attending a local holiday event in your city, going to the movie theater to watch a new blockbuster, or grabbing hot cocoa at your neighborhood cafe. The possibilities are endless, but sharing quality one-on-one time could be one of the best ways to support a friend who will be away from family this year.
Host a Holiday Zoom Party
Sure, it might sound a little cheesy, but a holiday Zoom party is a great option to feel like you’re all gathered together, even if you have multiple friends or loved ones living far away. Using Zoom is also a good option if you know you will be alone for the holidays and want to find the best ways to celebrate this upcoming season with others.
On top of catching up, you can find online games to play or consider hosting a cocktail-making party, where everyone creates the same holiday drink. Plus, a holiday Zoom party is an easy, safe, and effective way to show emotional support to your friends spending the holidays alone.
Send Them a Thoughtful Gift
Why not send a surprise gift in the mail? It can be an early Christmas gift or a simple thoughtful package to remind them that they are not alone. It can also be a reminder of your friendship or how you value the relationship. Whatever it is, be thoughtful and pick something unique to them. Imagine such ideas as a dessert delivery, a colorful bouquet, or a sweet picture postcard that reminds them of a happy memory. Again, the gift does not have to be costly. As the saying goes: It’s the thought that counts!
Call Them
Check-in calls can go a looooong way. If you do not usually call and speak over the phone (and let’s be honest, most of us don’t), then this will be a sweet surprise. You can always send a text to see if they’re free before dialing their number, but words have a different impact when you can hear them. While there’s never a bad time to catch up and check in with them—converse about their life, their feelings, or even current events—the holidays can be an especially difficult time for many people. They might just need someone to simply be there to listen and you can be that ear.
““Words have a different impact when you can hear them. While there’s never a bad time to catch up and check in with them—converse about their life, their feelings, or even current events—the holidays can be an especially difficult time for many people.””
Share a Family Tradition With a Friend
Inviting a friend to share a holiday tradition is another way to show support to those who are alone as this year ends. For example, if baking sugar cookies is an annual activity that you share with your family, why not extend an invitation to help out? It might not be on the actual day of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or another holiday, but making them feel as thought they are a part of your holiday season traditions can be a simple way to show your support.
Some other ideas include: inviting your friends to help hang up holiday decor, preparing a unique cultural dish, or having a fun Christmas movie marathon. Whatever is unique to your holiday experience growing up and can include a friend, consider inviting them to help out.
Mental Health Resources for the Holidays
The holidays can be a sad and difficult time for a lot of people and simple acts of kindness can have a lasting impact. Choosing any one of these options or offering any level of comfort and support—even the smallest action—can be more helpful than you might think. However, there may still be some cases where you, your friend, or anyone you know may need some additional resources if they continue to feel sad and their emotions feel too heavy.
All of the options below are recommended by Mental Health America.
WARMLINES
Warmlines is an alternative to a crisis hotline that gives you the space to converse with a peer over the phone for emotional support. Generally, this is someone who has experienced similar traumas and can help provide guidance and support, if needed. The caller can get assistance wherever and is not required to be part of any program or support group.
HAPPY
Happy is an application and phone line to get support from kind and supportive people, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Callers can connect with a collaborative community and remain anonymous. Their statistics show that, after each call, the person’s mood has improved and has reduced feelings of anxiety.
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE
Since its creation in 2005, the National Suicide Prevention line continues to be an incredible resource. Their phone line and services are available all day and all year long. For over two decades, they have been a leader in suicide prevention and mental health crises.
