I Worked As An Au Pair In Europe
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Au pairing is a fantastic way to make European travel feasible and brings a completely different perspective to travel. Instead of visiting a foreign city, you live and work there, temporarily. This makes possible a whole new level of cultural immersion, exploration, and intimacy with local customs and lifestyle.
There are numerous benefits and opportunities that become available to you as an au pair. The major reasons to consider taking this path include: learning a foreign language, experiencing a foreign country and culture from a local perspective, traveling without paying out-of-pocket, and gaining international work experience and transferable life skills.
Becoming an au pair does involve planning, researching, and paperwork, and is not a hastily contrived opportunity. To find the right host family that would be the best fit for the both of you, and to fit the right country and city, is an involved process.
What is an au pair?
To be an au pair is to be a nanny overseas. You will be working and living with a host family internationally, earning a very modest income—oftentimes, under a contract—and accepted as an extension of the family. Being an au pair in Europe is a relatively common, popular, and accessible opportunity, and one that I recommend from the bottom of my heart. As an au pair, you are a blend of mentor, friend, caretaker, babysitter, and aunt/uncle figure.
One thing to note about being an au pair is that the experience is 100% what you make of it, and depends critically on selecting the right fit and host family that you au pair with. Every au pair’s experience is different and highly dependent on a number of factors, such as location, bond with the host family, and adaptability to the foreign environment.
What are the duties of an au pair?
It is important to know that the specific duties of an au pairing position will vary for each and every host family. These duties and expectations should be thoroughly discussed before arrival and before signing a contract between the au pair and the host family, so that the expectations for the role are understood on both sides.
First and foremost, childcare will be your priority. Spending quality time with the children, playing with them, taking care of them, and being a role model are all things to be expected.
Household tasks may also be involved, such as cooking, cleaning, picking up, doing laundry, i.e. being an active member of the household in taking care of the home. Every household is different and there are no hard and fast rules about chores!
Teaching English may be expected, and that is something to discuss with the family beforehand. Depending on the family, some families may want some formal type of sit-down lessons between you and the children, or many families are happy with informal, conversational learning.
My Experience as an Au Pair
I au paired for five months in Villach, Austria, for an Italian/Austrian family. Villach is a charming southern Austrian town, backdropped by the Alps, that I had never visited prior to my employment there. The two young children were trilingual, which blew my mind. I was immediately welcomed into the family, would go over regularly to the grandparents’ house, was involved in everything the family was involved in, and enjoyed getting to know the little European village like the back of my hand—-its cobblestone streets, beautiful chapels and cathedrals, cozy cafes and bookstores, train schedule, and riverside walk. It became my home for those months.
I had a pretty set work schedule and daily routine as an au pair and, on my free days, I would walk to the train station, which would whisk me off to Bavaria, Vienna, Slovenia, and Italy on weekend trips or closer Austrian villages. I worked probably 25-30 hours a week, was paid about 400 euros a month (approximately $425, with room and board included), did not save a cent, and spent my monthly stipend on travel, which had been my priority in taking on this role.
I classify my au pair experience as a tranquil, soul-searching time where I retreated from the busy, standard college life I had been living to seek self-discovery and growth in an alternative form and flex my independence and love for travel. I found a love for solo travel, an opportunity for reflection and peace, education in exploring and acclimating to foreign culture, and a ton of growth in self-awareness. Being an au pair built my confidence in being able to navigate new environments and challenges alone.
I still keep in touch with my host family from six years ago, still fondly look and watch the kids grow up from pictures on Facebook and remember how little they used to be, and still prize that time as a period of tremendous self-growth. I’ll also never forget the kids bursting into my room early Saturday mornings—my “day off” (not that the kids cared)—yelling and jumping under the covers and under the bed.
While my groaning and moaning at the reality of being an au pair was real, it inevitably turned to treasuring the precious days I spent well, as I discovered new life in Europe. I always whole-heartedly recommend the experience of being an au pair to anyone I meet!
Below are a few frequently asked questions to get you familiar with the role and see if this could be the right opportunity for you!
How to become an au pair
You can find an au pair position either through an agency or through your own independent efforts.
The “most secure” way is through an agency. They assist with visa paperwork, actively seek the best matching fit for family and au pair, alleviate some of the pressure from you, answer questions you have about the process, screen au pairs and host families alike, and can be a touchpoint once you step into the role.
If you decide to find a host family to au pair through your own efforts, there are a number of websites (some free and some not) through which you can connect to potential host families seeking au pairs. For example, I found my own host family through Aupairworld and completely recommend it. Au Pairs and families alike create profiles; you can browse by country, number of children, and many other search filters.
Who would this be a good fit for?
You should like kids; you must be comfortable—or at least open to the idea of being comfortable—in foreign environments; you should be self-reliant, responsible, flexible, and independent. Being an au pair is a home-oriented role, so hopefully you would look forward to the reality of playing house in some aspects. Also, moving to a new country comes with many challenges, such as the language barrier, isolation, and homesickness.
It is a great way to spend a gap semester or gap year, a summer abroad for those in college, and a period of time after high school or college graduation before jumping into a career. In general, au pairing is a fantastic form of travel that allows you to work and live internationally at the same intimate level as a local.
What is the salary range for those who work as an au pair?
A typical monthly salary in Europe for an au pair would be 350 to 450 euros (roughly $375-$485), but it differs by country and by family situation. Some families may be willing to help undertake some of your visa and travel fees; some may not. Bear in mind that room and board is included, so you can view that income as a stipend to travel. Au pairing isn’t a hugely-financially beneficial opportunity—and being transparent—I broke completely even at the end of a five-month contract.
What type of visa do you need to be an au pair in Europe?
If you hold a non-EU passport and plan to stay in Europe longer than 90 days, you will need a visa. Different countries have different visa requirements and eligibility, so once you decide what country you would ideally like to be in, do all the necessary research towards that specific country.
How to prepare for a successful au pair experience
Find the Right Host Family
The most important factor in having a positive experience as an au pair is selecting the right host family. Believe me, your home and work life are intertwined as an au pair, and the importance of selecting the right family that you really vibe with and can trust is more important than other preferences of yours.
Know Your Responsibilities
Make sure your responsibilities are fully expressed to you ahead of time. Also understand what is expected of you when it comes to weekday and weekend schedules, household chores, and more. This is where the potential for conflict and negative tension can be avoided. You may have to actively defend your work/life balance—just as a warning.
Set Expectations
Make sure your expectations are known to the family. This is a two-way street, and you may have to actively protect your work/life balance as an au pair. Make sure you see photos of your room and the house; make sure you will be able to have separate living space. If you have particular requests, salary expectations, dietary restrictions, preferences for living arrangements, make them known. Don’t assume you’ll be able to travel every weekend if you haven’t discussed with your host family, as they may expect a few hours of help on the weekends.
Do Not Skip the Paperwork
Do not skip any paperwork, the contract, travel health insurance, or requirements for a visa. This is for your legal protection and even physical safety; you never know when you may be up the creek with no paddle. You want to be able to back out of the situation if you feel uncomfortable for any reason, and you want the law behind you as an international non-resident. Make sure you have copies of the IDs of the host family and have verified their identity beforehand!
Ask for References
Ask for references of the family. If they have had a previous au pair (which chances are good that they have), always reach out to those past nannies; their insight is invaluable, as they have been in your exact shoes and know precisely how the household is run. If they have no past au pair, ask for a reference from one of their babysitters, extended family, neighbor, or family friends.
Understand the Location
Make sure you know what to expect in terms of location. How remote is the family’s home? Is there public transit? Is the family willing to take you to the bus/train station? Could you get access to a bike? How far will you be walking to get to the downtown area of the city? The more isolated or remote the family home is in the countryside, the less able you will be able to travel and get away in your free time.
Keep An Open Mind
Go in with an open mind, and go with your gut. If you hit it off with a family when searching for the right fit, you will feel good about walking into the situation; if you have reservations about the character of the family, you will feel uneasy. If something isn’t sitting well with you or some of the terms of the contract are unclear, communicate with your host family beforehand; please do not leave it to chance only to find out the hard way—4,000 miles away from your own family and friends.
If you need some more convincing that international travel is an important experience for every human to have, check out my blog on why I think travel is important here.
For even more ideas concerning seasonal travel work, here is our starting point to inspire more travel work opportunities.