9 Dating Tips We Learned from Watching Love on the Spectrum
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If you have a Netflix account, you’ve probably already heard or watched Love on the Spectrum by now. A good friend recommended it to me recently; I watched it and finished it quicker than I thought. The show is easy to watch, will warm your heart, and make you say “Awww!” because it’s all so sweet. Simply, it follows select adults on the autism spectrum in their journey to find love and a romantic partner.
Through going on dates, using dating apps, and learning the struggles of dating, it shines a light on the challenges that people with autism have that you might not otherwise think about. As I watched the show, I felt that we all can learn something about love, dating, and building a connection with someone special. Whether you’re dating or already in a relationship, the show offers some helpful tips—or even dating reminders—when looking for love.
But, don’t worry, no spoilers!
Dating Tips To Remember From Love on the Spectrum
It’s Okay To Be Nervous
As you watch the show, you follow the different individuals as they go on various dates, and the nerves of some are more evident than others; you can see it through their faces and body language. Eventually, however, you can see as the nerves naturally fade away. Another tip: It is okay to share that you’re nervous on the date, too!
Being nervous to go on dates or meet up with someone you really like is a reminder that you care. Another dating reminder? Relax and have some fun. There’s no need to take it all so seriously.
Know Your Deal Breakers
The show follows one woman who has a very specific checklist of what she wants in a partner. Her focus on finding a partner and her “checkboxes” helped her converse and learn more about the other person. We already know dating as an adult can be hard, especially if you’re not sure what you’re looking for.
No matter if you are interested in finding a serious relationship, something casual, or simply getting familiar with someone new, it is important to get to know the other person well and see if you both value the same things. In my opinion, her “deal breakers” were rigid at times, but there are benefits when knowing what you’re looking for, along with seeing what can happen!
Say How You Feel
In the show, you’ll see how people on the autism spectrum express themselves differently. Some may speak more directly or with less of a filter; when sharing their emotions, this way of conversing appears more straightforward and expressive.
This reminded me of another dating tip: to clearly say how you feel, whether you’re feeling upset or even really happy. This even includes when you like the person or you know the time has come to end things. Whether on the spectrum or not, this is a challenge for everyone, especially if you care about the other person. Therefore, while it’s easier said than done, it’s also helpful dating and relationship advice to remind yourself of frequently.
Chivalry Isn’t Dead
There is the argument that “Chivalry is dead,” but Love on the Spectrum reminded me that that isn’t true. Having the door opened for you, your chair pulled out at a dinner table, or offering to pay for the bill is still appreciated. (Arguably, people have said that it is very traditional or old-fashioned to do such things.
So, it’s best to ask if you do not feel sure.) However, across the different dates on the show, regardless if they were a woman or man, it was clear that these little gestures go a long way.
Dress to Feel Confident
For any dates that you may go on, wear whatever you want, but make sure you feel confident in it. It doesn’t matter how dressed up you are, if you feel uncomfortable, it will show. So, wear what makes you feel your best. When you do that, your true self will shine brighter and you will feel more comfortable during the date.
Try Different Forms of Dating
Be open to different forms of dating and ways of meeting new people. It may seem daunting, but if one way doesn’t work, be creative! On Love on the Spectrum, a few dates were organized by the staff, but they also showed examples of using dating apps, speed dating, and classic blind dates.
This might be out of your comfort zone, but who knows who you’ll meet or connect with! The biggest dating tip to take away: Be open because you never know what could happen!
Ask Good Questions & Listen
Asking good questions and listening is a dating tip for life. The relationship coach in the show shares, “It shows that you care and will help you have a conversation.” This tip seems very basic, but often gets overlooked.
Have you been on a date where the other person is talking too much or the conversation doesn’t go anywhere? In both cases, it just doesn’t feel good. Asking questions and intently listening to their response shows that you’re interested in them, which will, in turn, lead to a steady conversation. Great questions will naturally come along if you’re listening well, too.
Give Compliments
Giving a compliment is an underrated—and simple!—gesture that makes someone feel special, especially if your partner or love interest’s love language is ‘words of affirmation.’ One of the storylines specifically talks about compliments and how the individual says, “it feels nice inside,” after receiving a compliment. These simple, kind comments are easy to give!
Giving a compliment while you’re dating (or to your special someone) can have a bigger impact than you might think.
Be Yourself
Be yourself. This is a reminder—dating or not—to be authentic. Love on the Spectrum reminds us all to do this, especially for those who struggle with the fear of not being accepted. It’s easy to second-guess yourself while dating and feel like you want to be “someone’s type.”
But instead, dress how you want, express your opinions, share your feelings, show off your best dance moves, or tell your cool Dad jokes. At the end of it all, being yourself will attract the people that you will have a real connection with.
Love on The Spectrum is still available to stream on Netflix for more dating tips, but also if you are looking for something light-hearted and heart-warming to watch. Along with dating, you can also learn about their lifestyles as individuals on the spectrum. It can open our eyes and help us be more understanding.
If you haven’t watched it already, binge it as a cozy night in with yourself or maybe even a date with a special someone.
