How To Start Living Life With More Intention
As we all begin to transition into fall and find our footing into this next season, we may want to start taking stock of what is serving us and what we can leave with the summer heat. I have been talking to my therapist about this and I told her that, for the longest time, I felt I didn’t have enough motivation to live life with intention. I made excuses that it was more efficient to just go with the routine I had set for myself each day even though I was feeling stuck or trapped by that routine. Managing mental health means things don't always go to plan, so I would often find myself drowning in shame if I went off course.
After months of shame spirals, she invited me to reframe it from “I don’t have the motivation to do this,” to “I am able to put 5 minutes of effort into making this a part of my day.” It is in that effort, in that practice and choice, that we find ourselves living life with intention.
Intentionality means slowing down and noticing what feels essential to our care and fully immersing ourselves in the experience of them. It also means eliminating the things that aren’t serving us anymore. By bringing attention to these things, it creates more mental capacity and emotional longevity for us to show up to live life. It is through intentional living that we avoid burnout and stay in connection.
““...[my therapist] invited me to reframe it from ‘I don’t have the motivation to do this’ to ‘I am able to put 5 minutes of effort into making this a part of my day.’ It is in that effort, in that practice and choice, that we find ourselves living life with intention.””
Decide What Is Important To You Each Day
There are some daily tasks that are just necessary for survival. Then there are life choices we can make that may require extra effort but can help us feel more fulfilled. Both categories, however, can be things we choose to return to with intention if we allow ourselves to be grounded in them. Some things to consider when starting to integrate small, repeated decisions in our day are practicing active listening by saying back what the person you are talking to just said.
Consider not scrolling when you’re eating so you can really enjoy your food, or leave your phone home and go on a walk to really take in all of your surroundings. A lot of people will call these mindfulness exercises (and they are) but they are also great practices to cultivate intentionality into our lives because it promotes a slower mindset.
Some questions to ask when taking stock of what is important to you each day:
Am I using more energy thinking about avoiding this task than it would take to actually do the task itself?
Do I feel nourished after doing this?
Does doing this make me have more access to my emotional resources?
Where can I switch my mindset from being disciplined in something to being devoted to it?
Cut Out Things That Are Not Serving You
When we start to take note of the things that are taking energy away from us, we can start to cut them out to leave room for the rest of what feels good and have energy to do what is necessary. Staying intentional means saying no to the things that aren’t creating meaning, or at the very least, saying no to things that suck energy from us. It also helps to begin having an awareness around how our bodies are reacting to our routines.
Some questions to ask when eliminating the things that do not serve us:
Does [insert task/event/conversation/etc.] fill up my cup? Or do I feel depleted after?
Are there accounts I follow, friends I have, habits, or other lifestyle choices that do not align with my values?
Are there places in my daily habits where I could integrate slowness so that I can take more notice?
How does doing certain tasks show up physically in my body? Am I feeling anxiety or unease around them?
Remember: You Are In Control
Being intentional requires that we release any judgement around what we choose to fill our lives with. There are an abundance of things that ask for our attention each day and by being more intentional with that attention, we can reach our goals and access better living.
““Being intentional requires that we release any judgement around what we choose to fill our lives with... While this process takes energy, you will ultimately find your cup filled up when you create the space to integrate this kind of decision making into your day. When we operate with intentionality, we are able to live more fully in our values, have a day that reflects the goals we want to reach, and be more aligned. Being intentional is ultimately just a practice in setting boundaries with yourself.””
While this process takes energy, you will ultimately find your cup filled up when you create the space to integrate this kind of decision making into your day. When we operate with intentionality, we are able to live more fully in our values, have a day that reflects the goals we want to reach, and be more aligned. Being intentional is ultimately just a practice in setting boundaries with yourself.
Some final questions to ask yourself when learning to live life with intention:
Am I living in accordance with my values?
Do I need to adjust my day to access what is really important to me?
Are there places I could be more consistent, mindful, and present?
A good place to start is to journal about all of these questions. If you are looking for a template to get started with some of these big questions, a wellness journal is a great resource or follow a mental health professional on Instagram that can inspire you to ask some bigger and necessary questions. But remember, being intentional doesn’t happen overnight. It takes gentleness and a constant commitment to being the healthiest versions of ourselves. It takes practice, a release of the “shoulds” of life, and letting our values and boundaries be the guiding light to all we do.