Are You Constantly Emotionally Drained? It Could Be Burnout


In today’s society of “more is more”, so “more should be even better,” we are more likely than ever to find ourselves combating the inevitable feeling of being emotionally drained. Combined with mental fatigue, a syndrome known as burnout is created.

woman with tattoos with her hands on her head

At what point does working hard turn into working too much? How exactly can we save our mental health?

What Exactly is Burnout?

Elliot Aronson defines burnout as: “A state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by long term involvement in emotionally demanding situations.”

Going even further, Herbert Freudenberger defines burnout as: “A state of fatigue or frustration brought about by devotion to a cause, way of life, or relationship that failed to produce the expected reward.” With such overwhelming demands placed on ourselves—the aptly named ‘hustle culture’—it is no wonder that many office workers now suffer a mental breakdown. Also known as a nervous breakdown, this period of time is characterized by an extreme amount of mental and/or emotional stress, often becoming so damaging that an individual is unable to perform normal daily routine tasks.

College students, especially, are more susceptible to the effects of burnout. For many new students, rigorous class schedules, adopting new study habits, and unfamiliar surroundings—for many, this is the first time living away from home—can cause high levels of stress and anxiety.

Additionally, women are at a higher risk of burnout—often encouraged by the media and society to aspire to the “Girl Boss” status. That is, the seemingly picturesque (and unrealistic) persona of a wife, mother, entrepreneur, and successful businesswoman.

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The 12 Stages of Burnout

In fact, Herbert Freudenberger went farther than just simply defining burnout. He created his 12 Stages of Burnout test. This list was not meant to be linear, in fact, many people could enter and exit the stages of stress at different points. People may also find themselves spending longer in certain categories than others or adapting characteristics of multiple stages at one time.

How many of these symptoms of burnout have you felt?

  1. Excessive drive/ambition. Seemingly a good thing at first, this is commonly the first stage for people who are starting a new job or task. However, too much drive can start the path to burnout.

  2. Pushing yourself to work harder. Driven, of course, by our “more is always better” culture.

  3. Neglecting your own needs. Personal care begins to slip. You sacrifice self-care, exercise, sleep, and personal nutrition.

  4. Displacement of conflict. Could easily be referring to as displacement of blame as overly-stressed individuals project their feelings on coworkers, friends and spouses.

  5. No time for non work-related needs. Social obligations become stressful. Individuals might stop responding to texts or phone calls from friends & family.

  6. Denial. An aggressive stage where you become frustrated with those around you and reject slowing down.

  7. Withdrawal. The individual might find themselves favoring staying home, avoiding outside contact with others.

  8. Behavioral changes. Unique to everyone, but increased anger or “lashing out” can be very common here.

  9. Depersonalization. Continually feeling like your life is “spinning out of control” or that you have no control over your stress levels.

  10. Inner emptiness or anxiety. Anxiety and stress levels creep up and people may look for drugs to help cope.

  11. Depression. Feelings of sadness or loneliness.

  12. Mental or physical collapse. Your compromised immune system might give way to sickness. Persons may find themselves in need of medical treatment.

woman asleep at her desk with coffee

How Can You Identify Burnout?

The symptoms of burnout can be unique to every individual. In fact, reading through the list of burnout symptoms above you may find that you can identify with several stages or feelings. It’s important to ask yourself and evaluate your thoughts to see if you are trending towards becoming overworked.

Do you find it hard to concentrate?

Do you feel disillusioned by your job?

Have you recently become more irritable or impatient with friends or family?

Has your sleep hygiene changed?

Do you feel your energy levels are lacking?

Do you want to avoid human interaction?

How Can I Treat Mental Fatigue?

If you’ve read through the above 12 stages and felt a connection to any, you may be suffering from mental exhaustion. Many times, it doesn’t have to be severe for us to feel some level of mental fatigue and stress. But the first step in taking control is by making a change towards burnout recovery.

Focus on Sleep Hygiene

One of the initial ways to start taking better control of your personal well being is by being increasingly mindful of your sleep hygiene. This includes limiting electronic devices in the bedroom, focusing on a routine bedtime, and increasing your relaxation time before bed. If you’re increasingly anxious at bedtime, consider adding a weighted blanket into your bedding.

woman starin at her computer screen

Make Movement a Priority

Elle Woods was not wrong when she said that exercises gives us endorphins, which make us happy (and also, happy people don’t kill their husbands). Engaging in physical activity allows your brain to switch away from the task, as well as provide some much needed blood flow. And this movement doesn’t have to be a sweat-inducing, heart-pounding, vigorous workout. You can simply move your body by standing up from your desk, taking a walk outside, going for a hike with friends, or simply walking or biking to your destination instead of using your car.

Eat Quality Food

When self-care starts to slip, we quickly fall back into substandard eating habits. Eating poorly is a surefire way to lead to overeating, under-nourishment and poor health. Adding quality food into your diet will make sure that you’re hitting your daily requirements of vitamins and minerals to heal your body and give it what it needs.

Get extra stressed about eating? When we are stressed or tired, we often find ourselves fixating on foods, labeling them “good” or “bad.” The thing is, if your body is telling you that you need something, chances are, honoring your body will lead to better wellness and greater self-care than willingly neglecting and depriving it during a stressful time. While it is true that there are foods that are better suited towards our bodies and will provide a variety of benefits, embracing intuitive eating during a high period of stress may help you focus on what is actually important…your mental health.

It is Never Too Late to Ask for Help

Asking for help might seem scary at first, but it can be the key to success. Have a “check-in” buddy when you’re feeling extra stressed or someone that you can talk to. We’re a firm believer that everyone can use a therapist and there are many great online options for busy individuals. But being able to talk about your mental health is the first step in bettering it.

Ashley Rollins

Black coffee drinker. Crossword puzzle enthusiast. Anonymous short story writer. Cat whisperer. A lover of thrifted vintage finds, you’ll most often find her lost in an antique shop in a tiny town on the Oregon coast when not cozied up at home in Portland.

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